:)

Two rejections in a day! uffff!

(nope! not the gal's... just two companies which came for recruitment)

anyways... companies are just companies... ek jaati hai to dusri aati hai...

life's has become really hectic these days(since last 6 months). Companies. Gaming. CAT. and what not... Still i donno wht else to write about..

TWO REJECTIONS....

i can handle more.

come one.. come all... ill give my best... wont give up!

I cheat, I steal and I lie : the not guilty perspective

I do. And I accept it as is. I can see it while I do it. And ignore it while I reflect upon the same. And may be that’s what makes me human. I've indulged in these ever since I can recall. I do it on a day to day basis and I don’t see myself quitting in any foreseeable near future.

I stole an ice-cream today from the canteen along with the ones I paid for. It’s despicable an act, considering the fact that am educated and have means enough to buy one of those every other day . I feel guilty in a strange way today. Not cause I stole an ice-cream. Its cause I stole "only one" ice-cream. Must have cleared the whole store.

I lied when I said I did not have a pen-drive when I had one, when an acquaintance of mine asked me for it.

I cheat myself on a daily basis when I say I will be a better man. No stealing- no lying-no cheating. That’s not me. I thrive on it.

Am I bad enough. No I don’t see it. I see people equally corrupt if not more. Cheating... stealing and lying...

Discussing on the same table social issues plaguing the most destitute of our country, where millions live in penury and without food we spend our "100 buck - baldies" eating useless junk. Vituperating against the same system we are part of without doing anything to correct it, we have lost all morality to say anything. Each one of us indulges in it.

But that’s how it is. That’s how things work. Am just being odd enough to be shamelessly open while doing it and admitting. Am just idiot enough to do it to please people. Am just myopic enough in stealing "one", while I could have devised some way to clear the whole everything. I was not selfish enough today. That’s where my fault lies. Improvement . Am crude in my practice. I must be polished enough not get noticed. I must be remorseless enough not to feel the guilt. And fake enough to castigate any and everybody under the sun who cheats, steals or lies.

I cheat. I steal and I lie. And I WILL LEARN TO LIVE WITH IT.

Vanilla Sky

Have you ever dreamt of reliving your life... going back a few years and making "amends"... may be just bending things the way you wanted them to turn out...

I never thought i would even think on those terms... never. i always thought life was good as is. good or bad, i never thought life must have been any different than the way it was...

As i write this i still don't disagree with what i said in last sentence. This is life. Life is living, not dreaming.

But tonight i dreamt, i dreamt how i thought i could make changes... twist the story and to bend it the way i could... and i tried to relive those moments in the ephemerality of my thoughts... Just before i decided to write about the Silly dreams..

The first thoughts were a sudden realization. oh F^^^! ive grown old... college... ive lived it all... though still in college but yeah... that childhood is gone... the school is gone, never to be back. That innocence is lost.

i could hav done things better. i could hav had asked aniruddh to just gimme a contact number or an address... he was my best freind back in Kolkata. May be my first true freind.... a wing man... a chess buddy! I miss him. And all the matches we had against each other and against amitendra and mukherjee. I just let him go... slip right in front of my eyes... i donno... i din even bid him a good bye properly. Man! i regret that to this day! lol wish i could hav said depanjana a hello! :P

Wish i could relive Kolkata all over again... the two years... again and again... that was schoollife at its prime. it was just so cool! and i remember the day dad broke the news that he had been transferred. Awww! that was pain.. i couldnt grasp that i will be loosing all my hard earned freinds all over again.

And and... how can i forget that i was caught cheating in my sanskrit exam back in hyderabad! lol... that was crazy! lol... But that was for good... i made me never cheat in exams again.

25-04-07.... wish i could have changed that!... Or may be it just had not happened... My life now and everything in it would hav been different. but its not.

These are all just dreams...

top 10

There is nothin much to write bout these days... kinda busy doin absolutely nothin... :P

absolutely vela, what to do...??? i guess this's the time to recollect the all time fav's...

( May be am gonna miss out on quite afew of em.. there are so many... fir bhee... :) )

10. For starters, it has to be DISTURBED. Great band, great music!... i luv all the songs... so whichever song that i list, hardly matters... this ones called "prayer".

9. For the 9 th plac eits between "carnival of rust" and "Late goodbye" (both by the poets of the fall)... even though i listen more of carnival, still it HAS to be Late goodbye... It oozes pain... (Late good BYe - Poets of teh Fall))

8. *Its the song of my first love*... absolutely poignant!... the tune just transports me back in the past... the freshness of first love.... Materpeice!...

(Talk - Coldplay)

7. This one doesn sound really cheerful, a song... but i guess it has always motivated me to keep the fight goin on... to win... LUV THIS ONE! (The video got copyright issue- cant post the original... check it out on youube urself)

(Loser - 3 doors down)

6. This onez all pain again... i really like its video. And the song is great.

(but i guess the video has some copyright issue... cannot be embedded.. so am posting some other vid of the same song :( )s - Sum41)

(Peices - Sum41)

5. Rammstein! THE GAWDS OF METAL! The most classic... Du hast!

(Du hast - Rammstein)

4. This is where i began! MI2 soundtrack (my first recognizable hard rock song to which i was really hooked!) cheers for the most amazing Limp Bizkit!

(Take a look around - Limp bizkit)

3. For the sheer no of times (may be more than 2500 times) that ive listened to this song... it deserves the 3rd rank. :P

(You and Me - Lifehouse)

2. For the past 3 years, stayin at hostel, thinkin bout home... all that angst, that pain, that love... this song has it all!

(Home - Breaking Benjamin)

1. I donno why, but i can still hear this one as many times as possible... all night, all day... like crazy!!! Mera no 1! :)

(To the moon and back - Savage Garden)

Deep forest and gupt :(

Gupt- Gupt has always been amongst my most fav songs... but i din knew, even this was lifted off some popular track....

(from deep forest's - deep forest)