For Sachin

Really dunno, why i stopped blogging. The fountain stopped and the water was no more rushing out... like it used to. And now i know why sachin does not write.

Flash back 3 years and i was in Tinsukia, Assam, after a grueling-adventurous-slightly monotonous 54-HOURS long train journey. With little to do other than Maasi's food extravaganza, sleeping and watching prison break, all i did was to Read Sachin's Blog

(http://thesachingarg.com/about_sachin.html), which sadly is not there.. now and write my own.

Man! i was so big a fan of his... his life in dce... his adventures and his love life or the lack of it... his placement problems to frivolous flirtations with life.. i read his blog through and through within 3 days and then may be re-read it twice... thrice. I was in awe of him. And wanted to be him. Wanted his life.

But what really soon dawned on me was that he had stopped blogging.. he was out of college... in to another one... may be writing his book... And i was unable to grasp why he could ever stop.

Ive never read a sunny shady life.. probably never will... i like real stories... like his and his blog (was).

and off lately i see even my blog count has crossed 4000... certainly pretty insignificant...nothing infact. but still i wonder if people see the relics of this nothingness... my college life and if they even feel any hint of what i felt.. the exhilration that excitement... the realization that "they are doing some abhishek"... like i wanted and did "some sachin garg" with my life....

Only makes me wonder...

we all believe that our times were so great and wonderful and unique... and yet we are all part of that same cycle.. which repeats over and over and over again..

The terminal

F*%ed up Spicejet has done a "the terminal" on me!

Boarded a train last night.. reached here early 7(screwed up railway had to drop me on time!). Had a flight in the evening 5.

One message: your flight has been delayed by 3 hours and "we deeply regret the inconvenience!"

and my pain is prolonged by another 3 hours... :(

its been 3 hours and i still have 9 more hours to go... i have luggage.. & i have wait :(

hmmm

positives... i have laptop, FB, Internet, Java Headfirst and money for food and food for thought (what the fudge happened that am so screwed?)

i know this is not the first time am stuck and there are times ahead where i might be in worse situations... So just trying to remain positive. Eat, FB, wait and watch latest episodes of HIMYM and BIG BANG and CALIFORNICATION :)

hoping the ordeal comes to an end sooooonnnn.. amen!

New found love

Amongst all other things what i cherish the most, amongst what Bangalore has bought into my life is GYMing.

Ive always aspired... to be be an idealist. I know ive failed miserably on all counts... and i am not a step headed even in the direction where i want myself to be in, as an idealist (following a set of beliefs that one prescribes to, at-least he thinks he aspires to follow )... and i hate myself for not being even a beginner there.... Yet somewhere down in the heart of my hearts i love ideals... the very spirit of following an ideal, a principle... a belief and the idea to uphold it in one's life, come what may...

So coming back to GYMing, i think this is where ive taken the very baby step towards even starting towards following an ideal. I had never attempted GYMing in my life. Always day dreamed about it once in a while, but never gathered enough courage to actually step into one. And now 15 days since i first stepped in to one, GYM turns out to be a place, something i never imagined.

The bedrock of the very foundation of GYMing is the idea of being true to oneself.

There the only person one is competing with is himself. The very benchmark one wishes to cross is his own, challenging once own limit. Ofcourse, one may be inspired by someone else to be able to develop muscles/stamina like him, but then again, to get there the competition is only with one's own limits.

I feel this very feeling... a feeling of purity... when i try to jog that last 500 metres on the treadmill... or those last 8 counts of dumbell... or the last 5 counts of ab crunches... I feel an ablution, cleansing me a lil... beneath all the many lies that i tell to myself everday... all the lies i "do" to myself everyday...

you ever dressed up?

Have you ever dressed up and waited for someone???

its so coo... i did once :)

i think am gonna remember it for life... like things that you never forget..

antiquity

antiquity is coo... ( was actually looking fir VAT 69... not lucky this time... just like lewis nixon was... in band of brothers... episode- "why we fight")

talkin bout antiquity... you can actually smell the caskets in which it aged.. smooth... "velvety" if you can call it that...

accentuates the melody of anything you listen... just like any good drink should do...

"electric blue eyes" - cranberries

*****

missing college for the first time.. since a long time.... since i left college...

:'(

missing a lot of things...

i miss the coterie of my group... i miss classes (which i missed anyways :P)... i miss stupid profs and lecturers and their super stupid lectures... i miss missing lectures... i miss sitting at OAT... i miss being with friends... i miss dodo... i miss campus... i miss that shitty-crappy weather of Delhi... i miss the walk from hostel to college.. i miss the super tasteless mess food... i miss the super spicy "rajma chawal" of punjabi dhaba.. i miss people... i miss acquaintances... i miss people who i never met but knew they belonged to the my year... i miss the class room and the dysfunctional AC's... i miss the ocassional daaru party.. i miss being unemployed even after an year if placements.. i miss my lone hostel room... i miss barua... i miss RM... i miss aastha and her antics... i miss nigam and his company.. i miss amar and his room... i miss anupam dadhi and the way he was.... i miss ap, the way he was in college... i miss rashmi and the bold self she was... i miss silky and the weekend frivolities.... i miss cc and the group tasks of labs which myself aastha ap and ankita did together... i miss plying LAn games... i miss bhalu and his most most most amazing company.... i miss bhaskar and his carefree nature... i miss maneet and his punjabi self... i miss the innocence of first year... i miss avinash and group( chchp, jhatu, mishra)... i miss saksham his games and his most affable nature... i miss night walks in college... i miss end sems.. i miss end sems... i miss cs, RON, halo and the way i played em in college... i miss the way i was... i miss the way people were... i miss the way the life was.. i miss delhi.. i miss maa :'( i miss papa... i miss bhaiya... i miss home cooked food.. i miss the way maa scolded me... i miss the washed and ironed clothes without any effort.... i miss the life without any responsibilities...

i miss myself amongst those people in that place in those ways in those times...

i feel alone and lost in new city amongst people i dont know... i cant trust... i donno whom to talk to and how to behave with people i dont know... i dont know what where and how...

I I I....