I never thought i would even think on those terms... never. i always thought life was good as is. good or bad, i never thought life must have been any different than the way it was...
As i write this i still don't disagree with what i said in last sentence. This is life. Life is living, not dreaming.
But tonight i dreamt, i dreamt how i thought i could make changes... twist the story and to bend it the way i could... and i tried to relive those moments in the ephemerality of my thoughts... Just before i decided to write about the Silly dreams..
The first thoughts were a sudden realization. oh F^^^! ive grown old... college... ive lived it all... though still in college but yeah... that childhood is gone... the school is gone, never to be back. That innocence is lost.
i could hav done things better. i could hav had asked aniruddh to just gimme a contact number or an address... he was my best freind back in Kolkata. May be my first true freind.... a wing man... a chess buddy! I miss him. And all the matches we had against each other and against amitendra and mukherjee. I just let him go... slip right in front of my eyes... i donno... i din even bid him a good bye properly. Man! i regret that to this day! lol wish i could hav said depanjana a hello! :P
Wish i could relive Kolkata all over again... the two years... again and again... that was schoollife at its prime. it was just so cool! and i remember the day dad broke the news that he had been transferred. Awww! that was pain.. i couldnt grasp that i will be loosing all my hard earned freinds all over again.
And and... how can i forget that i was caught cheating in my sanskrit exam back in hyderabad! lol... that was crazy! lol... But that was for good... i made me never cheat in exams again.
25-04-07.... wish i could have changed that!... Or may be it just had not happened... My life now and everything in it would hav been different. but its not.
These are all just dreams...
5 comments:
sometimes i wish exactly the same. wish i cud make some changes. :(
I have never thought that way..
i had once thought of dreams as being seen to live through pain. in retrospect everything is so 'wrong'...there is always something we'd want to change. if it weren't so there would be no living because we'd never evolve!
n if u really want to track those guys down...it can't b so hard. when will all our social networking help!? take it up seriously...track 'em down!! n tell me when u find them
i always believe in the adage "jo hota hai ache ke liye hota hai".. that saves me a lot of trouble... we'd want to change sop many things of our past, regret so many actions but our present and future more than make up for it.. and as to tracking down ur friends.. take Shivani's advice...:)
that was a little sad..yeah i want to make so many amendments..2 days back i was telling my friend "i wish i could go 5 years back"...but aaah..nothin can be done..but life is all about experiences.you commit mistake and they teach you a lesson....
enough of lectur-ing...doesnt suit me.... lol...
so..just enjoy life n chill maar..
:)
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