just another word...

oxymoron /ksmrn/ n. M17. [Gk oxumoron use as n. of neut. sing. of oxumoros pointedly foolish, f. oxus (see OXY-) + moros foolish (see MORON).] A rhetorical figure of speech in which markedly contradictory terms appear in conjunction so as to emphasize the statement; gen. a contradiction in terms.
---------------------------------------------------------
Excerpted from Oxford Talking Dictionary
Copyright © 2007 The Learning Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
---------------------------------------------------------

For many its just a word. A self-contradiction, a part of speech, vocabulary, general English language. It seems funny, a joke, when you actually be in an oxymoronic situation, may be when you reflect back at your life, the way you are and whole mess you have been through, you are and will always be and you find it all contradictory. But as you realize that you could've been without the whole mess, and then finally it turns that the whole mess was you … the pun starts to fade. I always wanted to be good, that loving-caring 'angel' but the only feeling that I arouse in people, at least the ones I wanted to be good with, is pathos…

I love this song called 'Always' by saliva, a stanza of it goes…
"I love you
I hate you
I can live without you.
I breathe you
I taste you
I can't live without you. "

So oxymoronic, so meaningless you may say, To intensely hate a person and to still love the same may be the most equivocal, ambiguous statements, yet the pain it embalms can only be felt. It’s a feeling beyond criticism or appreciation in words.
I felt it. May be today…
No jokes, it hurts bad. Especially in the ways I felt it. Somewhere down the centre left of chest it starts to burn, its intense, its painful and beyond the relief of companionship, console or medicine. Having someone as a friend, as a companion, with you, near you, around you and yet feeling that absence, an absence not in the body and spirits, but in the ways you wanted the whole scene to be…
May be that’s what Oxymoron(ic) means….

Its just a word. I 'felt' what it means.