outside.

Music to me is….. everything!

I have spent months without social contacts… on sheer music… I guess I can feel it as it flows in my veins...

Of hundreds of songs and artists that I've worshipped , I guess if I've ever felt something close to my heart… this was the closest.

Its called "OUTSIDE", by staind

(do try and listen to this one… its something so intoxicating… no liquor can ever match… if you can relate yourself to this one, in any way)

Outside… (the way I felt it...)

And you

Can bring me to my knees

Yeah

(of all the ones I ever met, I found you the only one with whom the deal wasn’t about winning or loosing… it was sheer surrender, to all your whims, for all your wishes…)

All this time

That I could make you breathe

Yeah

(and I think of the times when I was with you, your own…)

All the times

That I felt insecure

Yeah

(and I think of all the times, when I thought about not being able to be there for you… that guilt)

And I leave

A burning path of flame

(and now as I look back, all that's left behind is a trail of painful past…)

I’m on the outside

I’m looking in

I can see through you

See your true colors

Cause inside you’re ugly

You’re Ugly like me

I can see through you

See to the real you

(but today, in this inebriation, it feels like am standing away, above, untouched by everything, and I still see you… but you don’t seem the same as I had imagined, I find you the same… but same like me!

I had convinced myself that I was not good enough… not that pure, not that secure... to be with you.

But now its so painful to find that you too weren't the angel I imagined you were!

And inside you were as bad as I was. Worse! You saw it all, and and… still… you left me there… all alone...)

All the times

That I’ve cried

All that’s wasted

It’s all inside

(and you know what? All that past, that pain, it hasn’t gone! Its all there!.... Still there, burning…inside...and reminding me of everything)

And I feel

All this pain

Stuffed it down

It’s back again

(its all pain now, pathos…)

And I lie

Here in bed

All alone

I can’t mend

(the loneliness… and I cant correct a thing that I went wrong with…)

And I feel

Tomorrow will be okay ….

(still I hope… I hope that tomorrow ill feel alright… this pain ,this past shall be gone… forever...)